I regularly follow threads on Fetlife, and in particular, a discussion that is used as listener feedback for The Dark Side podcast
Here is my contribution and a link to the discussion on Fet Life so you may add your own thoughts:
What Squicks me and why?
What squicked me is a better question. Fire play, cutting, branding, and diaper and age play.
Did it always squick you?
Up till when I saw demos of it with bottom who really get into it
What is the result of having that squick?
I did not seek out learning opportunities to learn how to do it myself.
Do you like or dislike the fact that it squicks you?
Well us control Doms don’t like being controlled even by our own Squicks.
Have you ever tried to do something to change the situation?
As a Dom the way I got over my squicks the same way I help my subs get de squicked. Being a “feedback slut” in this case can really work to my advantage.
When I’m in a gentle mood I have my sub that is squicked watch me play with a sub that is into that particular play. I have found that seeing a big wide smile the demo bottoms face helps them know how good it could feel. Most then ask to try it.
When I’m in an evil mood I do mind fucks. One of my slaves was really squicked out by needle play. The day before I casually mentioned I needed to go shopping for some alcohol, and some make up pads. We went shopping and had him hold the supplies while I continued to shop. Later that night I took the supplies and headed down to one of my playrooms and came up with a big smile and we went to bed. The next day I talked about a hot needle play scene that I once had over breakfast.That afternoon it was time to play. Once strapped down to my bondage table, I pulled out the alcohol, my piercing kit, which I made sure, he saw in the mirror and then blind folded him. I carefully put alcohol all over a make up pad and waved it by his nose so he would know it was alcohol, and then proceed to wash his belly, and cock. I then took out my sounds and proceeded to sound him.
From our post scene discussion …what was going through his mind, from the shopping.. to the breakfast.. to being bound on my table ..was that he was convinced he would be used for needle play. When his cock was sanitized he thought holly fuck he’s starting there. Then he remembered thinking if Master thinks I’m ready I will trust his judgment. He found the sounding rather dull but now reports that since he has mentally gone through the fear of needle play….. he now wants to try it. One more soft limit off his list.
My second post to Fetlife
Well I guess I’m not very good at following directions. Good Dom…. good Dom.
Here are the whys:
Fire play: My risk management brain did overtime.
Cutting: I tend to cut myself at work on sharp metal not particularly pleasant.
Branding: I once branded myself accidentally while doing hot metal work the smell of burning flesh in particular mine was originally the issue.
Needle play: As a kid I hated going to the doctors and having my mum almost in hysterics saying don’t worry it wont hurt too much.
Diaper and age play: Being a bio parent it almost felt like a betrayal of the relationship I had with my kids
Full body weight stomping: Afraid to break bones