Master Chuck's Musings

As many of you know, I’m a member of Fet Life and in particular a group called Masters Only. Recently a question was asked, “What do you think is required to achieve Mastery?

The following is my reply with  additional  thoughts on the matter.

To me, Mastery is a journey.  The question then is, when does one become a Master while on this journey? As someone once said if you walk like a duck , quack like a duck, and act like a duck… you may just be a duck?? Others may see you as a Master and cover you as one, but for me it was not untill I saw for myself and accepted it did I become a Master. This happened after speaking with another Master about my struggles of aceptance and he sated the obvious, “find a way to evaluate yourself against what you think is a well rounded  Master…you may be supprized”.

When doing my self evaluation I use the individual lines, and ask myself what percentage of the time is this true.  I realize that I’m not perfect but in order for me to accept the meaning of the cover, I feel I need to put in to practice some lines at least 80%, most 90%, with some lines involving safety 100% of the time.

Although  this is a work in progress I’m now noy 90% comfortable with my personal self-evaluation criteria.

As readers of this blog may know I have a very large leather family, of which I’m the patriarch. Some of my subs are also Doms with subs of their own. I’m also now  finding this to be a great tool for setting up of training priorities with all future SiTs or MiTs

If you have any other suggestions I would love to hear from you:

• A Master will have a natural confidence and commanding presence……xxx% fof the time.
• A Master is comfortable with his skills and abilities in the play space.
• having an idea of what direction the scene will go in.
• knowing where the direction of the scene will take the Master and the sub both physically and psychologically
• having command of the scene and the space
• A Master puts others first but gets back 10 times more.
• A Master knows that others see him as a Master, conducts his life as a Master and seeks mastery in all aspects of his life.
• A Master will always be aware of his environment and then use whatever information from that environment for the betterment or development of others.
• A Master will never stop learning. He will strive to improve what He knows and learn more of what interests Him. A Master will never be complacent in Himself and will continue to strive and grow.
• A Master will be very open about what is best suited for a sub and puts the interests of the sub before His own. The goal is for a successful and enjoyable scene on behalf of both parties.
• A Master will understand all Leather history, not specific regional or community history and will also take the time to teach history.
• A Master will take the time to understand his boys, understand their motivation, fears, desires and phobias.
• A Master will never punish when angry. A Master will thoroughly ponder whether a punishment is justified and will institute an appropriate, effective punishment.
• A Master will be patient, with patience based on the long-term.
• A Master will be humble. A Master will not seek the limelight, but will be comfortable in it.
• A Master will show respect for all other Doms and subs and slaves.
• A Master will ensure that the sub has truly given over his training to Him while recognizing that the sub will on occasion test his Dom as he becomes stronger.
• A Master will recognize when he is being tested by his sub
• A Master will test the sub’s trust in his Dom both in and out of the dungeon
• A Master is not perfect, he recognizes that He will make mistakes, takes responsibility for those mistakes and does whatever is necessary to correct those mistakes.
• A Master is 110% responsible for all his actions and reactions. He will also take responsibilities for the actions and reactions of His subs.
• A Master will be able to rationally discuss a disagreement with His subs as necessary and make an informed decision for the betterment of His family.
• A Master has an understanding of leather community protocols, is respectful of these protocols however He implements them as suitable for himself.
• A Master will have experienced everything He dishes out in a scene. He will be able to appreciate what his subs experience.
• A Master will have the ability to protect His property in the event of physical assault of any degree from unwanted individuals, using violence as a last resort.
• A Master is aware of His whole being and what is required for contentment.
• A Master will not place anyone in danger and will have sufficient skills to keep His subs safe.
• A Master is also a teacher and never stops teaching.
• A Master will give back to His community in some way, through charitable contribution and/or educational endeavors.
• A Master will have a command of the structure and discipline equal to or beyond what He expects from His subs.
• A Master will wear His leathers with confidence.
• A Master will always be in control of His faculties.
• A Master will keep Himself and His property safe through the practices of safer sex without compromise.
• A Master will know how to calm each of His subs.
• A Master recognizes that He is a Master 24×7
• A Master recognizes that He does not always have the capacity to fulfill His Mastery.
• A Master will recognize when he is not at his maximum attention capacity
• A Master will pay attention to his subs during dialog
• A Master will have a thorough concept of time management
• A Master will always endeavour to build capacity.
• A Master will have competency as a collared sub. As a sub, a Master will have competency in the same areas He places on His subs.
• A Master is able to balance the needs and priorities of all His Subs.
• A Master has the ability to deal with apparent jealousies.
• A Master will maintain the chain of command.
• Allowing the sub to set limits but not demands
• Not letting the sub make decisions due to a lack of confidence or fearing repercussions of what may happen if the Master feels He makes the wrong decision
• A Master will lead by example.
• A Master will keep his toys in safe, working order.
• A Master will build in approachability, giving a boy the opportunity to request time to speak freely. A sub can not be afraid to discuss anything with their Dom.
• A Master will insist on after care after play no matter how intense the play has been.
• A Master will also embrace whatever portion of His being is submissive, in order to minimise any distractions.
• A Master does not need approval from any of His subs or any other Dom, He does, however, seek their input.
• A Master will have the confidence in His abilities so that He doesn’t require approval.
• A Master will define His own sense of presence and approach and not try to mimic others. He may incorporate elements of leather DNA from others into his own DNA, but outright mimicking should not be a valid path.
• A Master listens to all opinions not to see if He conforms but rather to seek to be informed in order to make better decisions.
• A Master will have trusted individuals that are like-minded that He can talk to or consult with if so needed or desired.
• A Master has been a Sir for 2 or more years
• A Master has had a slave who sees him as his Master.
• A Master will know the gift of service the slave has offered the Master and will know how to use that service properly.
• A Master will know the gift of surrender that the slave has offered the Master and will know how to take control of that slave, who no longer has control.
• A Master has the ability to continue on even when He has a challenging submissive.
• A Master will know when to step back and take a breath.
• A Master will not try to push the challenging submissive too hard, expecting them to grow further than current capacity
• A Master will not escalate His reaction in tandem with the sub’s, but rather, maintain a voice of reason, logic and focus.
• A Master can see His leather DNA in His subs, and is pleased, even though there is only 50% or more in the outcome.
• A Master will strive to teach His subs His own leather DNA.
• A Master will guide the sub that has his own submissives, not dictate, but offer opinions, in the interest of relationship advancement.
• A Master sees a well-trained sub as His most valuable possession.
• A Master has an exit plan.
• A Master will recognize if the situation is just not viable.
• A Master will screen potential subs for compatibility before signing them on.
• A Master will know how to return the sub to the outside world in the event that the sub needs to be released from service.
• A Master has in place a 5 year plan.
• A Master will have set goals, even though they may not be shared with the sub, to be reached on a periodic basis.
• A Master will have set milestones to achieve, these goals and review with the contracted sub.
• A Master is trained in Risk management is clear on the desired outcomes and practices it.
• A Master sees First AID training as a crucial risk Management.
• A Master communicates in such a way that He controls the message.
• A Master recognizes that various online social media outlets (i.e. Twitter) are tools and will use them as such.
• A Master will remained focused and rational during any type of conversation.
• A Master has balance in His home, family, volunteer and Dom life. He does not juggle as it implies He only has capacity for some but either increases His capacity or decreases His load to be in balance.
• A Master will recognize when He may be out of balance with his capacity and will refrain from neglecting one sub for another on a regular basis.
• A Master will set realistic time frames for managing His subs and His family.
• A Master will recognize that He occasionally needs time away from his subs.