How to help the partner of your sub feel more comfortable

I recently come across a post on Fet Life by tampa1223  in the Ask a Dominant group.

Here is her original question reprinted with her permission.

“This question is for those Masters out there who own married slaves. What ideas do you have to make the husband feel included and feel that there is something in it for him in order to avoid jealousy and feelings of being “left out?” Cuckoldry ideas are welcome, but wondering if there are other creative, kinky ideas out there that would be fun for all. Any ideas and experiences you can share are greatly appreciated.”

Here is my reply, in its entirety

I recently collared a male slave who is married to another male who is also a Dom but not his Dom.

For me it was important for the slave to know that when he was in service to me, he did not have to worry about his primary relationship. On the part of the of the slave’s husband, he needed to be assured that his spouse was safe.

During the initial negotiations, I insisted on chatting then meeting with the spouse, have him involved, and have his concerns addressed in the contract. He was also asked to be the slave ‘s witness.

In my family, all spouses of subs are invited to my leather family events. this again helps to build trust. To me the worst thing would be for a spouse to know his partner is going off to play with a Dom unknown to them.

I also have a clause in some of my contracts that permits spouses to be involved in play scenes but on an informed and controlled basis.

Before the scene, I would speak privately with the spouse to inform him of what I intend to do, and what the sub’s expected reactions are.

The spouse would have a run through on the risk managements strategies I use to keep the scene safe(r) and then discuss what involvement the spouse would have if any. I do insist that I be the one leading the scene and the after care. By doing so the partner sees how his spouse is cared for.

It has happened that the spouse has also become a collared sub of mine. This also causes complications especially when one sub is more advanced than the other.

If any of you are interested in seeing a copy of my contracts, just send me a note.

 

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